5/9/21 Mother's Day

 Well this week we are wrapping up school.  And I am ready for a little break. School has killed Gary Jr. this year.  Grant had to make an ocelot sock puppet for his rainforest presentation.  He is such a cutie! 

Charlotte and her snuggle blankie.  Can't be without it.

I was reflecting on my experience as a mother.  I have always oscillated being the highs and lows of motherhood, the companionship of having so many children and the burden of not having much freedom or free time. Seeing my baby sister have such a hard time with two and all the sisters weigh-in has made me realize how alone I was when it was really hard, and having to figure out a lot on my own.  I know how critical I had others of me in my early parenting years was so very hard,  I remember a relief society activity changing my life 

Lately, I have seen my other friends move on in their callings and interests because of their availability and I felt a little stuck.   Some growth is needed but I am just not sure in what direction.  I would love to be involved with my older children, because I feel like I am missing out a lot on my older children's growing up experience because I have according to others"my hands full".   I guess I didn't anticipate living in an high LDS population area would bring this kind of challenge.  In Houston and my mother's growing up experience you were used regardless of your family size. 

The other thing is the lack of help "babysitting" when I want to attend field trips and volunteer in my kids classes.  I don't like to pawn my kids off, but I saw the one time I had a babysitter for Charli (a mom with 2 little girls) how much she loved the social interaction.  

I remember this post, it is amazing that my body was able to do that 6 times! Have to add Charli's in....

Now I just have to raise these little people with testimonies, brains, talents, and a work ethic to rival mine. 

Faces of Pregnancy

Lily 2005- didn't quite learn to control the pregnancy cravings, especially bags of cheetos...puffed kind only. Definitely gained the most weight.  Didn't feel real until we brought her home. This pregnancy was a result of clomid.  Just as we were contemplating fertility treatments, I got mono....which stopped any sort of family planning. I think having to wait to be pregnant taught me to not take for granted the miracle of being able to carry a child and that I was not quite in charge like I imagined myself to be.  

 Gary Jr. - 2008 (smallest baby, smallest belly...probably from eating food storage beans as a poor med school widow.  This pregnancy was a very calculated decision, and even before I was pregnant, I felt like this little one was waiting to come. He made our family feel like a real family. )

 Ben- 2010- Biggest Baby (worst pregnancy, biggest head by far, if I ran at all (like to chase a two-year-old 2 steps, I had severe nerve pain for an hour afterward. Also my pregnancy weight came off too quickly in 3 months, and my poor baby had to be bottle fed because of this. This pregnancy taught me the importance of respecting my body and its limitations)

Grant- 2012 (our only surprise baby, easy pregnancy compared to Ben.  This pregnancy taught me the importance of making God in charge on my life, He knew this surprise would would bring my joy even when I didn't, and looking back it was the best timing for our family...What a blessing it was to have an easy pregnancy!)

And my current condition, about 6 weeks left. Yeah!!! Can't wait to meet this kicker. 

Mothers Day Talks

Gary and I both gave talks today in church, and it has been really great to research for this talk and remember the Divinity and Nobility of motherhood.

I used this talk and this talk quite a bit:

From Elder Holland's talk this is the quote summed up my talk:

“Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.

“It is this realization,” she says, “that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes wewill be anxious,” she said, “and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,” she concludes. “It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense.” ⁷

Knowing that I am doing God's work makes me recommit to these children I have been entrusted with.

Happy Mother's Day, to my mother...who is amazing, and mother-in-law, and my grandma M!

Tough week

My boys have been tough on me this week. Unfortunately my energy does not extend as far as I need it to, especially when I have a cold. Despite that, I made a break through with myself this week and realized that when I do have energy... which is in the morning, it is the time I need to be listening and getting to know them. Other things can wait.

We had an amazing lecture from this man last night at church.

The take home message for me was that I need to

1) know my children well enough to be able to spiritually discern their needs
2) pray over my children,
3) remember they are individuals and what works for one does not necessarily work for another- I loved that he said this, because it allows me to dismiss well meant advise graciously.  Although it does put an actual greater spiritual burden on me to figure out what IS right for them.

I have felt the need to focus my energy on what is really important.  I really liked this quote:

Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life.

Is it?

I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time.

More here

Happy Mother's Day

Today was a double whammy for us.  We blessed Baby Grant.  Nice relaxing day....

3 generations of ladies

Too bad my face is covered up a little. I think this picture is really artistic. Isn't my Mother-in-law beautiful.

Mother's day part II.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day!

So grateful to have these three, even if they do wear me out.

It is also nice to be banished from the kitchen and from cleaning for a day.

I love my husband.

Thoughts on Life

This weekend has been so nice. We have had a few nice weekends. Last weekend we spent in Dallas with the H* family, getting to see their newly remodeled home and catching up from the past couple years. It was so nice to have the drive up and back to just get to talk to my husband. I was a little worried about the drive and my pregnant belly, but I am glad we accompanied him to his interview.

Gary had his last interview at Emory on Wednesday, and then his clinical board on Friday (luckily it is offered in only 4 cities in the US and ours happens to be one of them). I am quite done buying rental cars, airplane tickets, and hotels for these interviews...so is my credit card.

Now we have to decide what/where is best for us. Hard to think everything in life is so up to chance. I am glad to know there is a God that looks out for us in our big and little decisions.

On a different note, I really love being a mom. It has taken me a while to come to that statement. I can't say I am a natural mom or always wished this to be my life. But none the less, I have come to learn that every career path in life comes with sacrifices and I am glad I have sacrificed for this one.

Laundry and Rock Stars

Miss L is a Rock Star. She has a singing fetish. Must be related to her grandmother who is professional singer. She is obsessed with using a microphone too. But we don't have a microphone, so she has taken to using household items (flashlights, etc.). This is what I found this morning. My Laundry was pretty cute too.

Recharging

Today ended bad. Perhaps it was a combination of Gary working nights, a tired baby during a piano lesson, the batteries in our mouse going out, stress about the upcoming piano recital, a awkward parenting situation, but basically I was overwhelmed. And everything in life was wrong from the chopped up tree in our front yard to my hand that has been hurting the past three days every time I play the piano (Can I have carpal tunnel already?). The kids went to bed early, and I took 3 hours to myself. I listened to Superwoman by Alicia Keys. I wrote in my journal. I called my mom (but she wasn't home). I read blogs. I reminded myself that I am a mother, not a martyr, a thought from Leslie. I watched mindless TV, and I drank Grape Juice+7up. The last time I had soda was Hurricane Ike. Too pricey, too full of calories... but that went out the window tonight. I wrote a love email to my husband. These made me happy too. Sometimes I just need to refuel.

Talkin' bout my Girl

Today is dedicated to my Girl and how cute she is.

My girl is the cutest girl I know. Here she is on her new bike.

Going for a ride with her daddy.

Look Daddy, and alligator. Right on. She gave me these for mother's day. Aren't they pretty?

She does look pleased.

What a happy girl. Glad she' s mine.

PS. Don't you love hi-tech camera's. Thanks Mo.

Somedays, I can't handle motherhood...

Today is one of them. Actually this whole week I think I have need a break, or vacation, Florida, Hawaii, or one place I really want to go...Santorini, would be acceptable... Just seems that when I finish bathing, feeding, reading to, playing with, attending play groups for, putting down for a nap, and trying to teach religion to this girl, I turn around only to find another mess to be cleaned up.

Here's the two within the last 3 days. You know something is wrong when she is happily playing somewhere in the house alone, and not in front of you. You get that feeling...





We made a little fort in our empty cabinet in the bathroom...bad idea. To close to fun stuff aka. makeup. I thought it was out of her reach, but apparently not. I haven't brought myself to clean the makeup mess up yet.

Here are the handprints of proof: