Lake Life 6/20/21

 The last two weeks have been lake life and enjoying time with friends at pools.  We have been boating like 8 times the last two weeks and I really love going.  We went this past Saturday with friends and it was so much fun. It makes the heat so bearable. 

A dear friend (I team teach with her for activity days) and Gary ministered to their family for years before he got called into the bishopric.  Their oldest committed suicide.  I led the music for the funeral.  It was very emotional and has produced a lot of reflection the past week about suicide and help and life being cut off too early.  

It made me want to reach out to this community that I have and love more, care more, nurture more.  I truly felt I need to try and reach others better. 

5/30/21 Bounce House of Doom

 

5/30/21

Well what a week.  Last Thursday, the last day of school, our neighborhood had a big party with bounce houses.  Grant was on one and it went up in the air 30 feet and dropped 4 boys, 3 on their heads.  C had a broken tail bone, Grant had a severe concussion, broken tooth, and broken arm, T had lacerations in his liver, spleen, broken ribs, punctured lung, and at the moment has brain damage.  R had a broken neck, back, skull fracture, broken elbow, broken patella, and broken heel.  We continue to pray for T and the potential brain damage he received. 

 This is has been the scariest moment of my life with regards to my children getting injured.  As I ran to him at the park and saw his little eyes roll to the back of his head, I prayed that the Lord would not take his sharp little brain.  The next two days seeing him unresponsive except to pain were truly agonizing.  He slept 22 of the next 24 hours.  Gratefully, he will okay. 

 I have seen God’s hand close.  I truly was in trauma mode when reaching the hospital, and felt angels present to remind me that he would be okay and these experiences would prepare me for the future.  In addition, my other kids were immediately swept up by the members of our ward and neighborhood and taken care of the next few days.

 

Some sweet tender moments:

1)      Grant couldn’t remember what he ate for dinner, mom got worried.  He said, “ Mom I still remember what 5 to the 5^th power is" and then proceeded to tell me.

2)      Last Wednesday was a moment of stress for me as Grant wiggled his broken tooth that is leaving blood all over the bathroom, and told me his elbow may be broken.  I was feeling a little overwhelmed.  Stressed, I walked in the hall to see a sign the 12-year-old young women had put on my outdoor chair saying “Be Strong”  which was a quick reminder from God to me.

3)      Lily had a lesson in which other mothers told of their impressions not to go or keep their kids close before the bounce house incident.  At first I was feeling, why did I not receive that impression? I felt in that moment that we were meant to be the hospital for the other little boys.  Gary was able to act in his bishopric calling and help these little ones while hospital visitations were limited to everyone else. 

4)      Grandparents willing to step in for whatever is needed

5) The bishopric was able to quickly set up grief/trauma counseling as a Sunday class for the adults because over 100 children mostly from our neighborhood watched this scene unfold at the party.

6) Parties were stopped and prayers were offered all across this day.

7) A ward fast was held for these four children, and I received 100+ texts from friends, school people, and acquaintances telling me they were praying for Grant. Go fund me and other fundraisers were organized. 

Here are a few news articles:

https://www.azfamily.com/news/mesa-children-recovering-after-wind-picked-up-bounce-house-more-than-15-feet/article_4ee0a66a-bddd-11eb-908b-43e7720d0b14.html?block_id=997196

https://www.azfamily.com/news/mesa-children-recovering-after-wind-picked-up-bounce-house-more-than-15-feet/article_4ee0a66a-bddd-11eb-908b-43e7720d0b14.html

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-4-brave-boys-get-back-on-their-feet

5/9/21 Mother's Day

 Well this week we are wrapping up school.  And I am ready for a little break. School has killed Gary Jr. this year.  Grant had to make an ocelot sock puppet for his rainforest presentation.  He is such a cutie! 

Charlotte and her snuggle blankie.  Can't be without it.

I was reflecting on my experience as a mother.  I have always oscillated being the highs and lows of motherhood, the companionship of having so many children and the burden of not having much freedom or free time. Seeing my baby sister have such a hard time with two and all the sisters weigh-in has made me realize how alone I was when it was really hard, and having to figure out a lot on my own.  I know how critical I had others of me in my early parenting years was so very hard,  I remember a relief society activity changing my life 

Lately, I have seen my other friends move on in their callings and interests because of their availability and I felt a little stuck.   Some growth is needed but I am just not sure in what direction.  I would love to be involved with my older children, because I feel like I am missing out a lot on my older children's growing up experience because I have according to others"my hands full".   I guess I didn't anticipate living in an high LDS population area would bring this kind of challenge.  In Houston and my mother's growing up experience you were used regardless of your family size. 

The other thing is the lack of help "babysitting" when I want to attend field trips and volunteer in my kids classes.  I don't like to pawn my kids off, but I saw the one time I had a babysitter for Charli (a mom with 2 little girls) how much she loved the social interaction.  

I remember this post, it is amazing that my body was able to do that 6 times! Have to add Charli's in....

Now I just have to raise these little people with testimonies, brains, talents, and a work ethic to rival mine. 

5/2/21 18- year-anniversary and Gary's birthday

This was our first trip since Covid.  Since Gary had to be up at Stanford this week, I tagged along and it was pretty wonderful.  Lots of beach walks, eating at Darbar Indian, Golden Gate Bridge, China town, Little Italy, and more beach walks.  I love the ocean.  We even saw 2 whales.  The highlight (of course food) was eating seafood risotto overlooking the ocean.  Well, I actually think I loved just walking on the beach the best.

The comical part of the trip was the drunk guy that sat next to Gary on a very crowded plane on the way to san Jose.  He kept leaning his head on Gary and putting his arm around him.  Talk about yuck, especially during COVID.  Ugh.  Very memorable though. 

The grandparents survived our kids crazy schedule and carpools, and it was just wonderful to be the two of us for a few days.

We came home and had a big birthday party for Gary Jr.   completely with lots of teenage boys, wet swimsuits, too much pizza and candy, and a Marvel movie while in the hot tub. Gary apparently made a bucket load of money from the party which was his highlight.  And what does he want to buy...invest in stocks.  He is a delightful and crazy kid.  He is so smart.  He is so kind to his little sisters.  He is so loyal to his friends.  He loves the group. This year has been rough on our relationship.  I hope to see the sparkle return in his eyes this summer with less homework and computer time.  I just got to get him to stay on the straight and narrow.  That kid! He got a bamboo steamer from China town for his birthday.

Also Lily's orchestra concert with her amazing friends.  Although she didn't make it into the select chamber orchestra next year (she is 3rd chair and there were only 2 spots), I hope she stay close with these girls because they are pretty stellar.  Missy plays the Viola, Jill the violin, and Chrissy the cello.

3/21/21 Grant's birthday week

 My half birthday.  Well this week Grant turned "9"! He is such a smart and energetic kiddo.  We had a little last minute party swimming and doing a polar bear challenge yesterday and man I love that kiddo.  The party was awesome, small and sweet.  The boys had a blast!

I think it is important to document some of the tough days too. Today was a bit of disaster at church with reverence and my children.  I asked Lily if she was wanted to play or watch Charli....who had to be in the hall all of last week. I was playing the organ with Grant and Rachel sitting on the stand.  Ben took a crying Charli out.....and then tried to come back and went out again.  A sweet friend took her from Ben (which I knew would be a disaster), I kept hoping Lily would go out and find her.  The sweet friend finally came and got Lily.  I realized I need to retire from playing the organ for a little while so I can be a good mom to my toddler, who really needs me.  Two friends came and brought bread to me because they felt bad for me.  ugh.

3/16/21 Kintsugi

 A beautiful metaphor for life....  as I study my my classroom psychology class,  I can across an interesting article that I felt has eternal ramifications....

https://positivepsychology.com/teaching-resilience/

It examines the art of Kintsugi, which is using gold laquer to join previously broken pots.

"the golden cracks represent the worth of the bowl because of its imperfections rather than in spite of them. The bowl is like a human, cracked by the contingency of life.

The gold endows the pot with unassailable beauty, uniqueness, and strength. Kintsugi and wabi-sabi can teach Western culture about the process of becoming oneself.

There is a lesson for embracing failures and experiences that crack our spirit. How do we turn those life cracks into gold?"

I was asked on Sunday about the trial of losing our little house in 2010.  We felt good about upsizing and had several offers on our house, only to lose the sale of the house the day after be had closed on our larger one.  We couldn't resell our home, because of a drop in the market   (there was an incentive for 1st-time home buyers that had just expired, drying up our market). This was a time of trial for me.  I lost 30 pounds in a months and couldn't feed my new baby (Ben).  Gary started working as an intern, which means he was never home, I couldn't stop teaching piano lessons, We were stuck in this situation for 3-years. 

Elder Holland's words for his October 2013 general conference talk directly describe my situation at this time, "At one point in our married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real. "

I struggled for a long time with God's hand in this.....why when I was doing my best,  why I was so financially careful about everything in my life, when I didn't need a new house, I was only moving forward with faith, that this would happen to me.  

I have gone back and forth with the reasons, but this I will tell you.   I felt all alone with no support, this trial was curtailed to me. Gary couldn't support me, he was working 100+ hours a week, my job teaching piano lessons, and 3 little children where all consuming and fatiguing. My family lived 1000 miles away. 

 I came to know my Savior during that time. It was dark, and I felt that He was in that darkness with me.  I would like to say that it got better, but it didn't for a while, the overwhelming weight was constant and present for 3 years until we sold the house and the financial burden was gone. 

I believe the my broken vessel cracked a little.

When asked Sunday night about that experience, I look back and think that if I hadn't gone through that.....the only really hard thing in my life to that point, when the next major trial came along....and it did... I wouldn't have been quite prepared in the same way to handle it spiritually.  For me it was not the study and learning, but the school of experience that made the atonement real. 

Perhaps these hard, unfair things, that leave us broken, which allow the Savior to come in and mend the cracks with Gold lacquer.  The questions how do we turn those cracks into Gold? Elder Holland begs us to remember, "we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter."   He turns the cracks to gold. I believe it is through trusting (our part) the Savior (his part) we can be made whole through, broken and cracked as we may be.  And like the Kintsugi pots, " the gold endows the pot with unassailable beauty, uniqueness, and strength."  The mending gold our Savior applies to our crack gives us the strength to help ourselves in the future AND strength to help others around us that are wading through their own struggles. 

Spring Break to Utah 3/14/21

 Such fun week.  After trying so hard to get grades up by the end of the quarter for the mesa academy boys, we were ready to get away and relax. We were going to leave Saturday early, because the girls Lily carpools with to school were having a birthday party.  Unfortunately, their dad passed away of Covid Tuesday night.  We decided to spend an extra day with my Grandma and leave friday after lunch and drive all the way to Utah.  It was so long, but so nice to wake up at her house and have an extra day to spend with her.  We played and sledded and built snowmen all weekend with her, and did a few home improvement projects too.  

We left Grandma's Monday to head to hike the Y.  So much has changed since I attended BYU.  Of course we had to stop by the creamery to get ice cream as well.  

Then we headed to our friends the Stoker's cabin in Heber, Utah.  It was fun, full of deer, and everyone had a bed which was great! We skiied Tuesday and Thursday and went tubing at Soldier's Hollow Wednesday.  Gary and I traded off with Charli, so I skiied only on Thursday which day it snowed and we had an amazing day of fresh powder.  Tuesday Charli and I hit the Park City outlets, which was fun too.  The kids all had friends to play with, and it was so fun to catch up with our friends, who we have been mostly quarantined from for the past month despite the fact that they live down the street.  Can't wait for quarantine to end !!!!!

We headed back through a snow storm and decided to sleep in Vegas because the weather and break the trip up into two day. We had a great hike at Kingman Access road to the river (well the hot spring right up the waterfall from the river), which took us longer than anticipated, but was really fun none the less. 

It was an amazing trip and I'm glad we had the break!